The Onion’s “Everyone knows you’re high” video’s alternate endings are bad trips

The Onion is known and celebrated for its clever fake news stories, but its latest report on pot is already a classic: “The nation’s top researchers concluded that you can’t hide how stoned you are and that you should be freaking out if you aren’t already.”

The fake study in the fake news report will give you a few laughs, including these marijuana-use findings: “You’ve been telling the same story for five minutes” and “You were once a baby. Now you’re a criminal.” But the true genius of the video is seen after multiple views as you take in the various alternate endings — or “bad trips,” as The Onion calls them.


If it’s on the Internet it must be true: Have some fun in The Cannabist’s fake-news archives


“Our Onion News Network team added a fun wrinkle to this video in which every time you watch it, you get taken on a bad trip and what you see changes and gets twisted,” The Onion said in a release. “Watch the video once, you get the straight report. Watch it a second time, and things get weird. A third time, some more weirdness.”

Just some of the weird bad trips include: “Everyone has no face. The universe comes undone and transforms the anchor into a being of pure light and space. Blood and horror consumes the news clip. A giant snake torments a drug scientist.”

And many others. So ready that refresh button and check out the alternate endings on The Onion.



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